How often have you looked at the offerings clogging up your email or your FB news feed and thought to yourself,
“But I don’t need any help”
Yeah, me too.
And it wasn’t until I actually began to allow myself to accept help (the help i thought i didn’t need,) that things started to shift for me.
I have always been a giver – rather than a receiver. I am the first to offer to help you, to carry your bag, to give you a life, to meet you for coffee to talk over your latest disaster, and on the whole I am well rewarded for this behaviour with friendship and a sense of self worth (after all if I am useful then I must be valued right?
So my helping really stemmed from a low self worth and this in turn made it almost impossible for me to ask for help from others.
As a result I kept playing small. I worked a little here and there, and never invested in myself. I could not afford to take expensive training courses, or buy the materials I really wanted and I didn’t go to the theatre or see the latest films – the very things that would make my heart leap with joy.
SO what’s changed? you may well be asking.
I have realised the intrinsic link between my life experience, my history and my actions today.
I already knew that I was 100% responsible for my life, but still failed to truly step up to the plate – hey we al all know that it is one thing to know a thing and another thing to do it, right?
Recently I have been going to a yoga class – and damn does it hurt, but in a good way and it is showing me that I am capable of way more than I ever imagined.
I have had the opportunity to work with some incredible clients who reminded me exactly how powerful my work truly is, and that I am doing the world a disservice by not sharing it honestly.
Have you ever had the opportunity to truly ask from your heart for some help? When you didn’t even know what it was that you really wanted or needed? I had the good fortune to be on the receiving end of this exact request only yesterday.
AT 5pm I was driving my daughter home when I thought’ ‘I wonder if I should visit Ann?’ (not her real name) and thought nothing of it – I hadn’t visited her for years and we had only recently reconnected after a spell following different paths.
Within an hour I receive a message from Ann asking ‘Please can you can you send me some healing?’ which of course I agreed to do. but I added in my response that I would be happy to visit her – she lives nearby – if she wanted me to. I know many people who do not want the intrusion of company but simply to be thought of – hence the gentle offer.
She agreed enthusiastically and asked if I would ‘bring my cards and she would pay me for a reading’ which I agreed to do without any expectation of payment, after all we are friends!
She was thrilled at the idea and I set off armed with my Tarot Cards, my Women Runes and almost instantly I had the sense that she was troubled by something unusual. She said she felt rotten and couldn’t shake it, that she lacked energy and kept crying or no reason and wanted some guidance as to what was happening with her. A real ‘no reason’ reason to ask for help that I am sure you are only too familiar with.
I began to tune in energetically and ‘felt’ she had a weight pulling her back, encompassing her rear heart and solar plexus chakra areas. That something had happened and connected her energy to the past…something that happened 3 days ago. (I saw the number 3 quite clearly). Next I felt the time of the occurrence sitting between 3pm and 7pm – quite specific and it would have been easy to assume it was connected to her daughter or ex husband (being pickup and drop off time) but no..that would have impacted her from the front. This was quite different.
I relayed that I felt she had spoken to someone, thought of someone, remembered someone, at that time which had set off a chain reaction re-awakening the limiting energy of the past and the hurts associated with it . (As a woman who has done loads of work on her family issues this was likely.)
She checked her diary and her Facebook messages for Friday and saw a dialogue with a man who had triggered her, causing her to step away from him energetically because…he reminded her of a recent ex-boyfriend…who reminded her of her ex-husband…who linked her back to her first abusive husband…who triggered her emotions around her family or origin …and there we were!
Back at the root of her pain and all because she had to deal with yet another needy manipulative man as she continued her life and trusted in new people!
She laughed out loud as she related this to me and I was able then to offer her some healing wisdom regarding her present state.
‘You are a Queen’ I told her. ‘Now is the time to step wholly into your sovereignty, holding an exclusion zone around you that few are permitted to enter. Those who wish to enter your ‘inner circle’ must first show their worth and prove that they are committed to your well-being, for you are a queen no longer a servant to the whim of others’
She glowed as we talked and I saw her posture change before me – from mildly hunched and weighted down by that pulling energy she had been feeling, to being upright and strong in her sense of self, her willingness to own her space and her unwillingness to allow anyone to enter her sacred chambers who were not pure in thought, word and deed.
Shocked she said ‘Oh! It’s gone!’ as she herself, became aware of her physical sensations. And we both laughed. Then she told me that she had been desperate for a reading and had really wanted to ask me outright if I would come and give her one – but she did not want to be demanding or presumptuous, so preferred to ask for the healing instead. She said she was thrilled that I had offered to go and see her and I then admitted my fleeting thought earlier in the evening – it appears our thoughts had synchronised and the thought-form connected us at the heart level making it so much easier for us to connect and activate the healing she so dearly needed.
What had actually happened here? Was it magic? Was it healing? Did I do anything or did she simply let go of unnecessary emotional baggage…and does it really matter?
I gave her a reading with some new Tarot Cards and they were beyond powerful in their message and their instruction, echoing our conversation and backing up the reality of her newfound situation. She is no longer a servant of others whims. She will no longer be at the mercy of the moods of her family, and she had the inner strength to embrace her own gifts, offer them to the world and charge enough to support her in a way she had never thought possible.
She reminded me of a reading I had given her 14 years ago when we very first met: I had told her of the house she would live in, the room she would work from, the work she would do and the life she would lead. And she had thought it all impossible at that time.
Now she is living in her bungalow on a hill (as predicted) with a conservatory room for herself (as I told her) and is leading ‘circle’ for spiritual development (just as I said) and is ‘Going Pro’ with her own Tarot and Mediumship work…whereas when I met her she was simply a seeker, who loved the spiritual world and enjoyed readings, but NEVER thought for one moment she would be able to offer this for herself, due to chronic shyness, lack of confidence and a terror of public speaking, oh how things change!
And what of me? The reader who had only just launched herself back in 2003, and took 2 hours to deliver a reading, now leads a Red Tent Group in my hometown, I give readings via Skype, telephone or even email. I can offer deep soul guidance simply from your date of birth and if you give me the time and trust I can illuminate pathways you never thought existed and help you uncover your very own treasures amid the chaos of your life’s worst experiences. I facilitate Psychic Parties, entertain Hen Parties and Birthdays, and I am creating my very won deck of Oracle Cards embracing my love of art and Trees as symbols.
SO, do you still think you can’t ask for help, even if it simply means you feel bad and want to change it but don’t know how? Because I am here to tell you , there is a way, and all you have to do is ask.